Ahimsa

The venerable Mohandas K. Gandhi wrote of ahimsa:

Non-violence is not a garment to be put on and off at will. Its seat is in the heart, and it must be an inseparable part of our very being.

(from Nonviolence in Peace and War, 61, 1948, by way of Merton's Gandhi, 36, 1964)

I ponder this a while, excavating less referred-to forms of violence in my daily life, ones that are more subtle than what we usually consider. For instance, when I scream at someone in anger, I commit violence against them. I imagine most people would disagree with me about this being categorized as violent, but what do you feel when screaming at another person in anger? How does your body feel? And their reaction? Merriam-Webster defines violence as 3 a : intense, turbulent, or furious and often destructive action or force b : vehement feeling or expression : also : an instance of such action or feeling c : a clashing or jarring quality. Is there not a vehement and unloving force being spewed upon them? When someone yells at you, does your body not tense up in self-defense? Does your heart clench and your temperature rise?

More subtly still, when I deride myself for being useless or a failure or too [fill in the blank], even if it is but a fleeting condemnation, I am commiting violence against myself. This tiny aspect affects my state of being certainly, and by extension, my treatment of those around me. It sets the tone for easy judgement of others. And where there is judgement, there is fear. Fear, the incubator of violence.

And truthfully, when I go out and "get trashed", pounding alcohol or drugs into my body as fast and furiously as possible, trying desperately, if unconsciously to end my suffering, I am committing violence against myself. I'm not suggesting all forms of alcohol intake or instances of being drunk are attributable to this. But many of us, if not all, know the particular behavior I refer to. The whiny little self-demise that creeps up amid all the hoopla of "having a good time" out in the shadows, when what we are really doing is hurting, running, hiding.

It starts very simply perhaps. Compassion for ourselves. Affording ourselves some patience and non-judgement out of self-love. Extending this practice to the person next to us. Practicing it every moment, extending further and further so that it reverberates in our schools, businesses, government.

Ahimsa, compassion, love; these seem intertwined like a finely crafted rope that cannot easily be separated. A rope that can hold our weight as we dangle over the depths of our suffering.