Sunday, May 30, 2010

Good Morning, Cranky

This morning I woke cranky. An overwhelmed feeling pervaded my every movement as I skulked from the bed to the bathroom to the kitchen. I kept having thoughts like “Why am I feeling this way? It’s a fresh day. I slept well. What’s my problem?” The accusations weighing even heavier on my drudgery. This feeling stayed with me all morning until emailing with a friend, when through our dialogue I was able to understand how I have been putting a ton of pressure on myself to get this done and that done and this finished by then and that planted before it rains and that part done before this-- constant pressure to get there.


My friend and I wondered together: Where is it we’re so rabid to get to? And what’s the rush?


I read somewhere once that if I'm making myself or the people around me miserable trying to achieve some goal, than the goal is worthless. So it seems wise to learn to recognize that self-pressure feeling, then to say no. Or say yes, rather, to whatever it is in front of us right this minute. To start from right here. We have to be willing to start at A every day. I get so worried about B, C, and sometimes even Z that A becomes a burden instead of a beautiful gift from the Universe to know myself and experience life fully, gratefully.


My friend elaborated, “All we ever gotta do is A, you know? Just A and then A, and then A. Its like in a way, all the other letters are a mirage, an illusion.”


Three reminders today:


1) Surrender to right now. Honor feeling tired or honor feeling energized, but be fully alive whatever the conditions.


2) Remember that everything happens in small increments, so by looking at the increment in front of me today, I will find myself at the next increment tomorrow, and so forth, until my goal is achieved or my project done or my dream realized.


3) Conversations with friends are invaluable opportunities. Relationships are the mirror into which we can look and find answers to our deepest questions about ourselves. Crankiness and all.


1 comment:

  1. Very well written! More people need to come to that realization.

    ReplyDelete